“It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing,but there is a special place in heaven for a father who takes his daughter shopping”… John Sinor
My father has earned his place in heaven. The first man in my life deserves nothing less. My father doated on me. Being the only child , he spent his vitality into sculpting me to his credible idea of a ‘real woman’. His savoir-faire was one that dotted the i’s and crossed the t’s and pressing. I knew ,I had to be authentic, dependable and self-reliant. At times,I found him extreme and tyrant, and wanted to defy his paternal ideas and standards. Of all the traits , fortitude was something he admired the most and he instilled that in me. This is something helps me through my trials till date. He often spoke to me about fears and his appeasing words fascinated me to my fears. His brilliant way of handling my fears made me less hesitant to be put through the wringer. He approved of any hobby or profession but I had to give my one hundred percent.
Decades have passed , the minor trials and triumphs of childhood have faded away but my moments with him haven’t. I keep reminiscing them. I don”t need an over commercialized ‘Father’s Day ” to remember him. He exists in my thoughts in my re-collection of a happy childhood or a nostalgic adult . Those memories were caught and held in the meshes of mind so impervious to time. Though he has been one with elements of nature for eight years now, he doesn’t seem to have gone too far. Whenever I want to feel close to him , I pick up from the assortment ‘ The time we spent together’ . It took me more than twenty years to understand why he was bent on molding me the way he wanted .My father was just indulging in his curiosity. He was not seeking to inspire me or enlighten me. He was just pleasing his enthusiasm and letting me on the results!
Life at times seems to be stirred and shaken. Sticking to the generics we often say that highs and lows are a part of our lives. The real magic is in passing off the lows as a learning experience . Facing heartaches and problems are inevitable part of life. All we can do is just remind ourselves that ‘this too shall pass’ . Life is uncertain and feeling stuck is okay. No problem is as big that it cannot be dealt with . It is the attitude that counts. Getting to the root of uncertainty will help disengage self of fear and delve into opportunities freely. A person who speaks of both failures and successes has more textured life and can cruise easily. Staying cocooned within our ideas will not do us any good. We have to release our expectations and ignore the many risks we may encounter. It is that enormous leap of faith that will get us to our destination;the manumission of our life. Facing the fears will bring us face to face with hope. Life needs to be stirred a bit every now and then . The beauty lies in stirring things up a bit creating a momentary , controlled squall . It is exciting to jump into the wave as it rides high rather than paddle into water when the wave breaks against the shores and settles.
“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” Lewis B. Smedes
We are social animals . Our life is sum of experiences that arises out of our social interactions. It is just companionship many a times and sometimes moves on to intimate level called love. This feeling sweeps you off the feet. You want to commit and share every expression with that special one. Every waking thought is associated with this one person closely associated with your life. You strive desperately to help the bond grow stronger. We detest the very thought of our love failing and trust being betrayed. The fear drives us to push lot of realities to the bottom. We start living in a bubble. But the real agony is when the bubble bursts, it had to. The umblical cord has to be severed from parent for the new being can no longer grow in the womb and has found it’s way into the new world.Not all love relationships are lasting. After surviving for a period of time some relationships do reach a closure. As each takes on with their individual journey , some find it challenging to scour the memories of the past relationship.It is imperative to accept the end of a relationship and that is in the favor of individuals involved. Separations are never conscious decisions and so they are painful. Every experience leaves us wiser and richer, for the positivity it gave us and the negativity that strengthened us. Exercising that much needed control over the emotions and surge of memories is the precondition to move on.Once the reality underneath surfaces all the absurdity rolls out and you find it easy to bid adieu. Forgive the ones who betrayed you not for them but for your self and just amble into next love sojourn
Today, As I sat by myself to unwind for a while,
And sauntered through the memory aisle,
A glimpse of all that I went through crossed my mind.
Evenly dispersed all that I perfected,
And lot that remains to be effected.
It hauled that aimless wonder ,
About what life was about ?
And likewise the upheavaled state.
It fired up the experiences ,
That I have been through ;
And the amazement that I
weathered it too.
It beckoned me to the those times of trials,
And that they tendered the best in me.
It evoked the thoughts of making life
day by day,
And those re-courses to make it happen.
It brought in those fears of life being brief
And unexpected at that,
Yet trying not to be cobbled
And facing it with fortitude.
Eventually , to discover that life
And the need to re-call to make it inspiring.
And to show the gratitude,
For what it had to offer.
“There are parts of a ship which taken by themselves would sink. The engine would sink. The propeller would sink. But when the parts of the ship are built together they float. So with the events of my life. Some have been tragic. Some have been happy. But when they are built together they form a craft that floats and is going some place.”~Ralph.W.Sockman~
Life changes its course like a river does over a period of time. At no point is it always splendid, conclusive and amazing. Life has innate notches. A bad patch so should we say. Instead of sulking we can promise ourselves better days ahead and handle our life with panache.
A normal day is a mix of things we intend to do and things we never thought of doing. We are all wound up waiting for an appropriate moment to do things we want. De facto we stop living while we wait. The moment never arrives. We end up being draggy, cheerless, miserable and frustrated. Srewy moments are a must to lighten up our existence. It is essential to be motivated and keep ourselves in an optimistic enclosure. Anticipating better things, finding reasons to flip over and be thrilled about is more often than likely to usher the totally needed splendor into our lives. Past cannot be changed. There is nothing for us worth living there. So we settle on the present and advance into the future. The fundamental moral we gain out of our living is that, everything is constructed from ground zero and each phase has valuable lessons to offer for the cosecutive phases. Many a times we are spellbound at how swiftly things happened for others and we were left dreaming. We become suspicious about the tempo of our development. Placidity is something that should unsettle us not the rapidity of our progress. We do not arrive on the face of this earth armed with competence to mold and maintain a fulfilled life. Most of us take years to figure out our goals. Our life constantly challenges us to renew our prospects and make amends to our intentions. We have to relentlessly try ways to elevate our lives. Making each day a favorable one is critical and requires a judgement right as a rain to know that life can throw in challenges and lessons at any point of time. We have to create a space for joy through adaptability and readiness to love ourselves. Loving ourselves gives us the motive to laud our existence. It ends our quest for buoyancy in life.
We are often knocked down, when we find ourselves at a place where we least expected us to be. Its not where we fancied ourselves to be and we waste precious time wishing things were otherwise, forgetting that the virtue to reform the given state of affairs is with us. To set things right all we have to do is opt for the right approach to define the situation we are in. Things keep happening even while we are not a part of it and were busy believing that we let slip a chance. This in all likelihood leads us to think that we are off target.We need not set into insane search for direction. We can keep it simple by just looking at the choices for our rise that our path bestows upon us and let our life dazzle.
“You never know how much you really believe anything until it’s truth of falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice,wouldn’t you then first discover how much you really trusted it?”
C. S. Lewis
Trust is something believed to be true. Our holding power to trust depends upon our acceptance of the other persons ability to do good or right. The only trust that never fails is the one that a child shares with the mother. Trust is as indispensable as food and water to living beings on this planet. It is on thing we cling on to like an ivy. The most important plug in for interchange of ideas is trust. The underlying assumption of any connection or fellowship is trust. Without it we would be moving around with baggages, fearing to reveal the true us. Our dependence on our wisdom, perception and warmth makes the real difference. The more we rely on these inner senses, easier it becomes to trust. Trusting does not come easy as we are faint hearted. We dread to be forsaken, laid bare and put down. We often marvel at the trapeze artists who soar through the space catching the flying swing from each other, risking their lives ; but they do it with ease because they simply trust their counterparts at the other end. Unkept promises and sometimes well intentioned lie is enough to invoke distrust. To enhance the ability to trust we need to count on ourselves first. We too are here to do something right just as we expect of others. To trust we need to get down to brass tacks. It cannot be erected on a figment of imagination. It requires something concrete. It’s a gamble. Here you pawn your time, money and even life at times. Inspite of this trust may never win. It is simply about your courage to bet bottom dollar on something or someone.
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” – Brene BrownLife is certainly about the choices we make. For us it is also about being critical of our wrong choices and beating ourselves. It is for most part about being in good books and garnering praise. Until one fine day the castles we built in air collapse and we are one on one with the very fear we were running away from. Vulnerability always has been understood as weakness though otherwise. Entering uncharted territory always sparks fear but someday each one of us has to brave the terrain, though the path ahead is no walk in the park. To know the taste, we actually need to unwrap the product and bite into it. Vulnerability is one such opportunity to unwrap our soul. It is our chance to let down our guard and making good our choices. It is a testament of our true strength.
The protective armor built around us, seemingly to protect us from pain and suffering is the very cause of our strife as it separates us from our authentic self.Awareness of it is a big step towards freedom. Letting go self-armoring is necessary for happiness and well-being. It is our tendency to re-treat behind a wall whenever we feel threatened, but we need to take the bull by it’s horn.
Letting down our armor lets us choose the kind of people we need to have around us. It is likely that when we are vulnerable we might be tempted to cozy up to whoever crosses our path but since we are not expecting anything we do make it right.It is hard to demonstrate compassion for the struggles in other people. Since we are able to reveal our deepest and darkest secrets when we are vulnerable, we become more emphatic.When we break the shackles that we are tethered to through out our life, that we are able to bring in true light of peace into our lives.
We can choose to view a failure as a learning opportunity rather than as a catastrophe. The cloak that we had around us was not at all comfortable but very rigid and confining. To make that real connection we have to be willing to be seen. Letting down the guard is enjoying the emotion that it implies that we are open , adaptable and emphatic. Only by accepting our true nature at our deepest core level as emotional vulnerable beings we are able to tap our resilient inner strength. If we move through life mistaking vulnerability for weakness, we strike the fruition of the very experiences we long for. The love, joy, passion and freedom painfully fall at our feet and appear out of reach. Vulnerability is a facade built by fear and needs to be shed to allow our true self to shine through and experience the sharp edges of lives.