Personal

Every year during summers I and my son take off to Mangalore. All the same, we are there to be with our tribe ; but we do not wink at way out engagements like weddings, naming ceremonies, house warming and you name it. We are driven to remain sane and folks need not break out in sweat over our solitude. Although, we uphold our self inflicted isolation there is my mom who is equally committed to her family ties and rituals. So while we can shut out the entire world we are clay pigeons coming down to mom. Incidentally on our part, we were sent on a temple visit. We went along to invoke the blessings of the deity to keep us on the path of remoteness. That was satire. At the temple while performing our ‘parikrama’ our feet were burning under the blazing Sun beating down the stone paved floor. My son was quick to jump over to the shadier segment of the temple canopy to complete his ‘parikrama’. I was tickled when others followed suit. It set me thinking. People often advocate adherence to faith and belief but they want to walk in the shade themselves. Supposing we did not have the choice of walking in the shade, wouldn’t we opt to walk in the Sun? We probably would have, as it was important for us to comply with the ritual.It occurred to me that while we walked under the temple canopy we missed the sky. To have a slice of the sky we have to step away from the shade. On our journey, walking in the shade may be comforting but we are likely to miss the blue. The path we pick leads to a destination but may be different from what we had pictured. It is upto us to hang in there and make the most of it or else retrace our path back to where we started. The best option would be to weigh our chances at the journey’s end, the one that we have arrived rather than wasting time in hoping madly to be at our dream destination. Whatever the pick we have to burn our feet for our slice of sky.

The smallest drop of water has to rise above the vastness of the ocean to be detached. This is possible only when the attachment has reached it’s peak. The drop of water rises only after it has been scorched by the sun and becomes lighter than the rest and transcends.Attachment and bonding may seem synonymous.But they are not.Bonding is an uniting force whereas attachment is ones fondness,dedication,passion. Attachment is a great power but undiscovered. When we feel close to someone emotionally ,physically, mentally we think we are attached. No, it’s not true . It is our arrangement made for comforting and maintaining ‘self’. We often confuse bonding to attachment and in the process we try to transform that bond to suit us.Attachment is beautiful only when it is bigger than self. Bonding is born out of desire to feel comfortable so the separation is painful.Attachment being selfless has no pain .When the fruit ripens it detaches itself from the tree ,easily as that. Attachment is a great tool to overcome suffering or pain. Normally we try to run away from suffering thus leaving it unattended.If one attaches oneself to it we are bound to nurse it and heal it. Once the healing happens we find ourselves rising out of it as the drop of water from the ocean. Our soul is lighter and conscious is clear to take on newer challenges.

The angelic élan vital on this planet was knocked together with great precision and care.It was cast on to this macrocosm to hold faith together. This soul could have been marauded by oceans of emotions but can still put up an assuring smile. This being can thumb through tea ,juices and left overs. It has the resilience to heal itself if ever it took ill and run the errands like rolling out ‘rotis’, get the you under the shower, pack the tiffin, tidy up ; when it could barely stand on it’s feet. It has a pair of hands to hold you to the bosom when you have a bad dream, spank you when you are being difficult , pat you when your right, help you with your projects and nevertheless helped you scribble the first letter.It is soft on the exteriors but exceptionally tough on the interiors. It can kiss away the pain of a broken leg as also the fiasco of a failed love affair.It has that pair of eyes that can check you behind closed doors and amusingly pop the question ‘What are you up to ?’ knowing what you are up to; look into your eyes and say,’I understand you completely ; it’s okay ‘ when you have failed badly; without uttering a word.It has the intellect to perceive thoughts that are unexpressed, can think, kick around and accommodate new expectations. To express cheer,contentment,heartache,indifference,setbacks, grief and pride it uses tear as a tool.It’s a great piece of artistry and is called ‘mom’.

You make it to every memory buried within me

Thoughts of you are etched on my soul

Like on neon lit marquee

In the moments of idleness

As I gaze at the blue, brushes across a zephyr

Ferrying chunks of you

Transferring me to boundlessness

‘The two hardest things to say in life are ‘Hello’ for the first time and ‘Goodbye’ for the last’. – unknown.

Dollars to doughnuts, they are, but we experience the finest moments of life between the time. I flourish by what transpires ‘in between’ times . Thankfully, ‘goodbyes’ have been few as the connections have been with the soul, thus survived skepticism and tight corners. Not long ago, one such survivor called on me and greeted me ‘Aloha’. For real , I was hearing this for the first time and knew it meant ‘hello’. Sure as I could be , loved the way it sounded , kind of musical.My curiosity mounting on the word I quizzed her about the origin of the word. She apprised me that it meant ‘hello’ in Hawaiian but in the same breath she said it meant much more than a hello. It meant love, compassion and peace and the true ‘Aloha’ spirit could be felt only when the abundant heart is capable of influencing others around you. As we share this energy we harmonize with the universal power that Hawaiians call ‘Mana’. The cordial use of this exceptional power is the secret of achieving true health, prosperity and success. Ineffable indeed ,a great practice for treating people with love and compassion. Next time when I meet the other survivors I am going to share this spirit and reflect the abundance of my heart.

I was editing my selfie and I noticed the backdrop was mundane. I attempted to blur it. It was time consuming and an overused skill by me. So this time around, I opted to darken the subject, a shade darker than the backdrop and the picture was striking enough. The conclusion was, keeping the background as it was and the subject with a slight change, the picture looked amazing!

In our lives we run into people who drive us ahead on our path and some who pull us away. We are surrounded by hordes who try to grab our attention and deviate us from the core things in our lives. We need to edit our lives. We should take a good look at ourselves and things that need to be highlighted. Knocking sense into beings who try to blur us may be tedious so lets try to make ourselves slightly stronger, sensible, evaluative and non-judgemental.

A fortnight ago my son got a seizure attack, fell in the washroom and injured himself.I panicked at the sight of him lying in a pool of blood. The incident shook me and I’m still coming to terms with it. But I remind myself that I could get timely help and avoid the worse. This was not the first time that I bought my calm senses to the fore. He being autistic my energies are challenged everyday. But this time around it was something I was slightly unprepared for. There comes a time in life when certain incidents wane away our vigor and fortitude. It’s then the memory of some long forgotten episode strikes a note and makes it bearable for us. In moments of emotional catastrophe, memories often turn out to be the ultimate reserves of psyche. The mysterious spectrum which focuses on our basic feelings about life.We never know which memory planted in our past will grow to be a rose. Time and again most pronounced and acknowledged remembrances are ostensibly simple and ones that do not rock the boat.They have capability to replenish our self belief.

💕