A fortnight ago my son got a seizure attack, fell in the washroom and injured himself.I panicked at the sight of him lying in a pool of blood. The incident shook me and I’m still coming to terms with it. But I remind myself that I could get timely help and avoid the worse. This was not the first time that I bought my calm senses to the fore. He being autistic my energies are challenged everyday. But this time around it was something I was slightly unprepared for. There comes a time in life when certain incidents wane away our vigor and fortitude. It’s then the memory of some long forgotten episode strikes a note and makes it bearable for us. In moments of emotional catastrophe, memories often turn out to be the ultimate reserves of psyche. The mysterious spectrum which focuses on our basic feelings about life.We never know which memory planted in our past will grow to be a rose. Time and again most pronounced and acknowledged remembrances are ostensibly simple and ones that do not rock the boat.They have capability to replenish our self belief.
Having a baby is one of those select life when things we haven’t thought of come into focus and good happens in mysterious ways. Feeling chippered, reconciled, dizzy and completely in the twilight zone are merely words that can express the thoughts of seeing this miracle infront of your eyes. Seventeen years ago we had this delight of holding our goblet of joy in our hands. Someday if I draw up the list of miracles in life this will top the list.
I gave him a name that sounded of all gentleness,depth and dignity;Prithvi. Within a year, his jubiliant esprit would beat any timetable. He would make a mad house of the rooms everyday, getting himself into unthinkable fixes. But he hadn’t yet made talking breakthrough. I told myself that he was late starter. As months slipped by,he eventually started uttering few words. His restlessness did concern me but lack of proper guidlines left me with no option but to enroll him into a nursery school. He was a tornado there too but teachers did manage him well. Once he was enrolled into kindergarten, he was expected to sit still, keep his voice down’behave’, that was beyond his control and my fears proved right, he was tossed out of school.
I sought clinical review and found out that he had ADHD. That was hearbreaking but I had to rise above this agony. We had sittings with psychiatrist to get to the core of the problem. She was a remedial teacher as well. She took him under her wings; trained him to do basic things of life like eating,personal hygiene, etc. At home I gave it my all;working with his vocabulary and other skills. Time and again I saw flashes of real intelligence in my boy. He would often burst into the bathroom gleefully plob into the bucket of water. He seemed relaxed that moment. Yet the next day or the next moment he would retreat behind a mask of silence or explode into uncontrollable hyperactivity. I approached ‘Umeed’ to get the real prognosis of what was it that was actually wrong with my boy. I knew he had potentials for growth but feared of him being classified mentally ill;as it would mean end of the road for him. At ‘Umeed’ I was told that he was autistic. I was asked to put him into a school set up and avoid home tutoring. I reluctantly got him into a special school. But the 6 year stint produced no miracles. I actually had to work hard to undo the unwanted traits he picked up at the school. I am still working with him on different aspects of his behaviour with professional interventions. I am optimistic that with resourcefulness and imagination he would be able to work at tasks that offer challenges and satisfaction. I know ,that this is an effortful campaign. I will not stop convincing people of my son’s veiled abilities that has to supported with opportunities. I am not going to rest before I consider my son independent. Today, when I look at Prithvi my spirit soars and I am mused to see him celebrate seventeen years of his being.I will walk through the dream someday,see my boy who is bright, inintuitive, witty, thoughtful-without a prospect in sight right now, make a huge difference.