The dream amphora

At the crack of dawn, when I rise,

Parting with the night gone by,

And the sun gleaming through the window,

I push myself out of the bed,

And head to draw the blinds away,

To feel the morning air,

To gain that vitality ,

With a day ahead to pace,

And dreams to chase.

Each morning is a new day,

And special in it’s own way.

A fair shake to do something momentous,

And cast a dream into the amphora. 

What is it about the dream?

Should you speculate!

Sometimes it’s about bringing repose

To a agitated soul.

And should that dream seem afar ,

But not impassable ;

I cast it into the dream amphora.

Sometimes it’s about the fear ,

Of losing all that is dear ;

Thoughts of dismay, 

But not invincible.

And most certain to vanquish one day.

I cast it into the dream amphora

Sometimes it’s about love

Tender feeling that bolsters ,

To grow out of all that hurts,

Dusting off all the hate;

Though it seems a long shot

But not fake ;

To sense it someday,

I cast it to the dream amphora.

Sometimes it’s about peace,

About a distant place of tranquil,

Where regrets cease,

But still seems mythical,

To make it real,

I cast it into the dream amphora. .

Sometimes it’s  about God ,

And His Invisible Hand,

Convinced that He shall never let me down,

To nurture my faith,

I cast it into the dream amphora.

Every night when I crawl in,

And shut my eyes to dream, 

It’s about some virtue held close to my bosom,

And seemed to be a delusion,

But a certainty too.

So I just kept adding dreams to the dream amphora,

Now o’er the years its repleted;

But there’s room for more,

As some I have realized,

And they are out of the dream amphora.

Unrealized ones still remain

For they will come true someday,

Assured that I am,

It’s just need to keep up with dignity.

And dream my way into eternity.

The bequest of joy….. 

“One is happy as a result of ones own efforts, once he knows the necessary ingredients of happiness – simple tastes, a certain degree of courage , self-denial to a point, love of work and above a clear conscience.Happiness is no vague dream of that I now feel certain ”-George Sand 

We all keep going in circles to the day we realize that all we were doing was putting away inner peace. We all wait for something to happen to us to make us happy, But in vain. All we have to do is look within us. The journey of self discovery is wonderful, it is then we debar ourselves of the opinions about what we should be and what we should not be. Our life is a creative process and to keep it going we need to replenish it with happiness. Thinking on my feet , I felt that happiness is ephemeral, fleeting and dependent on external stimulants like acceptance. Many of us get caught in a vicious cycle of thinking that we can be happy only if we gain acceptance from others leading us to self -depreciation and hopelessness. We need to believe our life is ours , one of its kind and marvellous. Being genuinely happy starts with the thought we are both the source and cause. We never get to experience our thoughts about the world as it really is , we only get to experience our thoughts about the world Happiness will be ours when we stop chasing and start choosing. Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.So lets bring in that balance into our lives and keep passing the bequest of joy. 

Barry Blanchard puts it as, “I have found I could see better once I figured out how to remove the obstacles in front of me . Strange thing about this is that those obstacles were not in front of me they were inside me. Was this the result of some magicians trick?. Nope, it was just me learning to take responsibility for the darker parts in my heart . What’s my secret ? I just stopped being somebody else. I stopped being right . I stopped hiding behind a facade. I started becoming me….because I’m rare gem just like you.”​

Walking the dream….. 

Having a baby is one of those select life when things we haven’t  thought of come into focus and good happens in mysterious ways.  Feeling chippered, reconciled, dizzy and completely in the twilight zone are merely words that can express the thoughts of seeing this miracle infront of your eyes. Seventeen years ago we had this delight of holding our goblet of joy in our hands.   Someday if I draw up the list of miracles in life this will top the list. 

I gave him a name that sounded of all gentleness,depth and dignity;Prithvi. Within a year, his jubiliant esprit would beat any timetable. He would make a mad house of the rooms everyday, getting himself into unthinkable fixes. But he hadn’t yet made talking breakthrough. I told myself that he was late starter. As months slipped by,he eventually started uttering few words. His restlessness did concern me but lack of proper guidlines left me with no option but to enroll him into a nursery school. He was a tornado there too but teachers  did manage him well. Once he was enrolled into kindergarten, he was expected to sit still, keep his voice down’behave’, that was beyond his control and my fears proved right, he was tossed out of school. 

I sought clinical review and found out that he had ADHD. That was hearbreaking but I had to rise above this agony. We had sittings with psychiatrist to get to the core of the problem. She was a remedial teacher as well. She took him under her wings; trained him to do basic things of life like eating,personal hygiene, etc. At home I gave it my all;working with his vocabulary and other skills. Time and again I saw flashes of real intelligence in my boy. He would often burst into the bathroom gleefully plob into the bucket of water. He seemed relaxed that moment. Yet the next day or the next moment he would retreat behind a mask of silence or explode into uncontrollable hyperactivity. I approached ‘Umeed’  to get the real prognosis  of what was it that was actually wrong with my boy. I knew he had potentials for growth but feared of him being classified mentally ill;as it would mean end of the road for him. At ‘Umeed’  I was told that he was autistic. I was asked to put him into a school set up and avoid home tutoring. I reluctantly got him into a special school. But the 6 year stint produced no miracles. I actually had to work hard to undo the unwanted traits he picked up at the school. I am still working with him on different aspects of his behaviour with professional interventions. I am optimistic that with resourcefulness and imagination he would be able to work at tasks that offer challenges and satisfaction. I know ,that this is an effortful campaign. I will not stop convincing people of my son’s veiled abilities that has to supported with opportunities. I am not going to rest before I consider my son independent. Today, when I look at Prithvi my spirit soars and I am mused to see him celebrate seventeen years of his being.I will walk through the dream someday,see my boy who is bright, inintuitive, witty, thoughtful-without a prospect in sight right now,  make a huge difference.